Growing up, I butted heads with my mom a lot. I didn’t recognize that she was a safe place to find comfort and help me problem solve. All that has changed now, thank God, but it was a way of life when I was growing up and it’s my goal to help someone.
What do your conversations with your daughter look like? Are they enjoyable or do you leave the time questioning yourself and your parenting? As a daughter, I can share that the number one thing I would have enjoyed growing up is learning the reasons that motivated my mother’s decisions. There were so many times when my mom told me that she’d made the decision because she knew best. The deeper questions I had were left open to my own interpretation and I learned to ask others who would give me more fulfilling answers.
Please share some of the reasons that motivate your decisions with your daughter-even if you choose to do it after some time has passed. She will benefit from knowing that you trust her to handle the information. My mom and dad didn’t let me go to parties when I was in high school, and although I still would have been disappointed, discovering the reasons that motivated their decisions would have led me to problem solve in college more adequately.
Start with Why is a book that Simon Sinek wrote to business leaders, but the principals can be applied widely to a variety of people in different positions. When you allow your purpose to motivate your actions, you will hold on to your position, influence change, and get buy in from others. As amazing mothers, I know that you want to help your children become incredible problem solvers who can make responsible choices. Start having conversations with them to share why you’ve made the decisions that you have so that they can begin to process the steps it takes to make responsible choices early.
Do you have any other ideas? Care to share? Talk back to me…