Growing up, I envied some of my best friends because of the relationships they had with their moms. They loved to hang out and spend time with one another. They shared secrets, and laughed often. I wanted that so badly, but I was moody, self conscious, afraid of rejection, and ignorant about where to start and how. I was that character named Can’t-Get-Right. In fact, one of the best days my mom and I shared my junior year ended with my betraying our relationship by sneaking out in one of the new shirts she’d bought me earlier that day. I distinctly remember her saying, “And after we had such a good day!” once I’d been caught. It was pitiful.
It’s sad when we start dragging the stuff that we pick up in school and social circles into our homes with people who love us most, but that’s exactly what we do. I was afraid of being rejected by my mom so I acted moody all the time because it was safe. I knew exactly what was going to happen, and I could play it all out in my head. ‘When I roll my eyes, my mom will say this,’ I would think. Opening up was unchartered territory. What if my mom didn’t think I was funny or like to laugh at the same stuff I do? What if she thought I was silly or stupid or worse? What if life got worse when I let her in? My thoughts were irrational and unjustified, but they were my thoughts so they became my reality.
It’s fourteen years later, and we’re best friends now, but I’m here to tell you that it doesn’t happen incidentally. You have to make it happen! I was shocked when I graduated college to find that we still had issues-big issues. I thought that once I grew up, we would instantly become more friendly and enjoy our time together. Not at all! Instead, we had to spend time together, pray together, and get used to our differences. Today, our favorite thing to do is host events together for moms and daughters, but guess what! The daughters don’t always want to attend these events! Mom, it is okay to require your daughter to attend an event with you. Sometimes, you’ve just got to practice having fun together. I guarantee you that your daughter will not forget those memories.
What do you like to do with your mom or your daughter? We could all learn!